Remittance Girl's Kinky States of Mind: An Erotica Writing Challenge
http://remittancegirl.com/blogpost/kinky-states-of-mind-an-erotica-writing-challenge/Rules:
It’s really all about what kind of language you are using to describe how it feels. And it’s going to feel entirely different to either vanilla lover vs someone in a dominant or submissive role.
So, here’s my challenge: Have a go at writing the exact same sex act, using nothing but the tone of language and the POV of the narrator to present it as either kinky or vanilla.
Pretty sure I broke the rules here. The pov change here isn't a function of the narrator because...no actual narrator. Oh, well. Let's see, what shall I call it...
Touchlove
Sweetie, I love the way you feel there...so wet...
Oh, blessed be, there, Darling, ho--ho, ha--ha, I can feeel it when you do that. Oh.
Can you really? How about when I do that? Is this okay?
Between you and me, you'll have me begging in a minute. Oh, god, yes please...so beautiful...
Oh, Darling, no, please don't. I don't want you to do that. I hate it when you do this. It's not okay. It's private.
But you'll allow it for me, won't you, Sweetie? Isn't true love doing what you don't want to for someone? What you don't feeel like?
Oh, god, please, no, don't make me. I'm begging you.
But this is so beautiful...so blessed wet...just for a minute...ho ho, ha ha...
-Brewt-
I really, really like this. I don't know whether to call it poetry or not, but it reads very poetically to me, and I love the feel that comes through in such a short, brief but evocative glimpse. As for having no "narrator", I like the voice(s) we hear just the same. Again, very evocative. Bravo!
ReplyDeleteWhy thank you. Liked yours, too.
DeleteWell, actually, there is always a narrator. Even when you write in third person and the narrator is not identified. Just think about it. The narrator decides what to tell the reader, how to present it and what to focus on.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure that the second is more dominant. i think it may be just non-consensual, or sort of pressing.
It's damn hot though. :P
We could argue narrative structure interpretation and the boundaries of relationships all night long, and in the end, I'd just lose, so really, the important thing is that I appreciate your looking. Thank you.
ReplyDelete